Single

Here I am 14 years old. I am single. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend since last year. I look in the mirror and I honestly have to admit, I see a better person compared to last year. My personality changed. Maybe I'm annoying, I bet there's a lot of people who are two face with me and talk about me behind my back, just like I do. I'm the biggest two-faced bitch ever, end of story. Anyway, I wonder why I'm single. I was close to having a realtionship this year, but it dissolved away. I like somebody a lot now. I wish I didn't, cause I know I'm only in for heart break. I've never experienced heart break, aren't I lucky. Screw this shit, I'm outtie.

OVer n out

Noir

Hoya!

Long time no see!
I still like myspace better.
Shame on me
I'm a pathetic loser currently.
I hate me.
Bah!
I am grumpy.
I am writing, but I do not know what to write.
I love somebody.
Well, not love,
but close enough
this is gonna be a long post.
No, not like a lot of word.
Just long
in length
Shya.
This is gay.
I have other things to remind me of my eigth grade year.
This is solely for my gay ass seventh grade drama.
Heh, drama.
What drama?
That was bunch of bull.
Bah, this year is better.
I was retarded last year.
I hate the last year's me.
I hate this years me.
Hn.
Ladedadeda
I still don't know what to write.
I hate school
it's gay
like everything else.
Valentines day is coming up!
Haroo.
I'm single
Boohoo
And desperate
Boohoohoo
And lonely
Boohoohoohoo
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
SCREW THE WORLD AND ALL ITS PEOPLE!!!@#$%^&^%$#%^&
Just felt like saying that.
My mom is watching a movie
and it sounds very violent.
Ok I quit
I'm fired

Over n Out

Noir

Well......

Everyone has officially ditched their blogs for myspace, including myself. I kinda missed this old thing, but at the same time, it was kinda a pain in the ass having to update it all the time for people to know what was going on. I'm reading some of my old entries, and god was I retarded! Ha, I still am, cause next year, I'm gonna look at this post and say I was a retard this year. I'm just rambling on and reminiscing about the joys and horrors of being a sevie. I think I must've been more attractive last year, nobody likes me now =(((

Wallowing

Noir

Missing You

I wish you knew who you were, I wrote this to you sometime ago.


Forgetting your face,
I can not see you anymore,
nor do I hear your voice;
and yet somehow,
I still love you.
You've only been gone
for a couple of days
and nights,
yet it feels like
I haven't touched you
for a century.
I miss you.
Please,
I want to hear your voice,
sing me a song, chat with me.
I want your embrace,
hug me and hold me.
I want to taste your lips,
kiss me,
so that we can forget
about the world
and everything
but ourselves.
I never want to forget you,
leave you,
lose grip.
I miss you

I'm back

My therapist finally talked some sense into my mother and I'm allowed back online! I'm even allowed to use this blog once again! I was just gonna keep this old bloggy as a time capsule and read it in 5 years and realize how stupid I was. Anyway, I'm way happier that I'm allowed online, and I'm even allowed to be friends with Mandi again! Did you know that my mom was blaming my old habit on Mandi? That pisses me off.

Well, people might have noticed that I have changed this year. Infact, even a retarded rock could figure out that I have changed. I guess my outlook life changed. I guess I can feel better about myself. The stupid thing is, my folks don't understand that I don't need help, I never did. They don't understand that I have only gone crying to 3 people, one of the persons probably didn't understand what was going on, I don't think they cared, I was stupid. They don't understand that I talk to my friends, my parents aren't my friends, they're just my folks and that's the way I'll always see them.

Kinda weird that I don't have more to say,

Over n out,

Noir

I'm back! Not really, I'm not allowed to do anymore blogging. Good bye!

Over n out (for real this time)

Noir

Leaving

I'm letting you all know that I won't be online for a very long time. My parents have found out that I am a recovering cutter and they are restricting me from using the computer or my cell tphone for a while. If you wish to contact me, please call my house phone, but after the end of this month, the number will change which I will give to those who I trust with my new digits.

Goodbye for a while,

Noir

How much does a mail box cost?

It's so weird. Kristen and I totally ignore each other throughout the school year due to stereotyping, but then we're like best friends again come summer time. Anyway, we went driving around on her golf cart 2 days ago with Melissa and Melissa spilled yogurt in the cart. Then we were all freaking out about the yogurt and none of us were paying attention to the road so we ran into a mailbox and it fell over and cracked the windshield in the cart. We heard this crash and stopped to see that the mailbox went flying off but nobody was there to see us crash into it, so we sped off down my street and hid at my house for a while.

Well I'm stuck cleaning. Call my house so I can waste time.

Over n out

Noir

Luxury

Ya'kno when I think about it, my life is moving waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay far down. Everything is half. Both my new rooms are half the size of mine now, infact the houses are half the size and half the worth of the house I'm moving out of now. I'll get half the attention (which really isn't a bad thing) from my folks, one pet is at one house and one is at the other. Location sucks at one house, I love where the other house is. People think I'm rich judging by the neighborhood I live in and the houses and crap. And now that I think of it, I would think I was rich too if I was living the way I am now for my whole life. I would do anything to get my bed to my mom's house right now, a sleeping bag isn't the same and neither is the couch.

Well I'm a Kristen's house and spending the night. Call my cell if ya desperately need me, you know the number.

Over n out

Noir

Compliments

I guess Mandi's right, myself esteem is probably deep in the abyss of the ocean hanging out with tube worms and light-bulb fishy things. I never really take a compliment well. I usually just assume they're sarcastic and end up saying something like "Go screw yourself." Even with adults, I just give a laugh and avoid ever seeing them again. I especially don't take compliments from my friends seriously either. I mean, they are my friends..........I think. They're not just gonna say "Omigod, you're like so ugly! Your nose is screwed up, your eyes are outta line, your hair is so frizzy...." and stuff like that. It's not good to lie but, many people know how much of a liar I am. The one time I decided to answer an opinion truthfully, it didn't turn out so well. Cause if I told the truth every single time I was asked for an opinion, I wouldn't have many friends. It's probably from my own personality that I don't trust so many people with their opinions. They could be liars just like me. I took a mental dysfuntion (personality disorder, a nicer way to put it) test online and it said I'm at high risk for being paranoid and that I should see a doctor about it, w/e. But maybe I am paranoid and have self esteem as low as Basil's stomach hangs (lol, Katie).

Over n out

Noir

UGH!

I stayed up till about 5 this morning and didn't wake up till just now. Actually, my folks and Moe disturbed me of my sleep a few times and didn't fully wake up until my worst nightmare called: MS. MACCARDLE! I don't even know how to spell her name, but I hate her! She disturbed my rest just to inform me that I didn't qualify for algebra honors anymore and that I'd be placed in advanced. How retarded does she think I am?!? Sorry, but she REALLY bugs me. Anywho, I'm probably gonna be at Moe's tonight and Kate's tomorrow.

Over n out

Noir

Survey

I decided to do this outta boredom when I read it in Katie's blog:

-->YOUR FRiENDS
Which friend is the....
.: x craziest- Megs, Sharise, Katie, April
.: x sweetest- Kate
.: x prettiest- Keira, Kate
.: x smartest- Kira, Mandi
.: x girly- Lauren
.: x easiest to be grossed out- Lauren
.: x blondest- Keira
.: x honest- Mole
.: x trustworthy- Katie, Mandi, Kate
.: x sporty- Mole
.: x animal lover- Moe
.: x computer genius- Mole
.: x xanga nerd- nobody I know
.: x funniest- Katie, Mandi, Megs
.: x drama person- Me, Mandi, Kira, Ash, Morgan, Brooke, Maira, April, Melanie, Christian......well everyone in my 7th grade drama clss
.: x band person- Katie, Jess, & Ressee
.: x person that always gets their homework done- Kira, Lugu
.: x flirtiest- Lauren, Britt

About your friends and past friends
.: x which friend have you known the longest? Kathleen, Katie, Moe
.: x which friend have you known the least? Probably Dom
.: x who was your first best friend? Kathleen
.: x is he/she still your friend? Kathleen lives in D.C. still, so I don't get to see or talk to her much
.: x which friend do you miss the most? Livvi, Bailee
.: x has one of your best friends ever moved away? nope, I'm the one always moving
.: x who has the most classes with you? Kira, Mandi
.: x pick one friend and tell one of your favorite memories. Katie- CCO, Juri, Conne-kichii, How to squat, OMG there's boys over there!, meal times, rowdie, Shorty, Rawly, Come and get it!, and so on.....

Which one of your buds is most likely to....
.: x be a teacher- Kelly
.: x become a computer person- Mole, Levi
.: x become a stay at home mom- Moe, Kate
.: x live life on the wild side- Ressee, Katie, Megs, Ash
.: x travel all over the world- Lauren, Britt
.: x become famous- Me amd Mandi!! Up there, in lights, we'll be! Oh yeah!
.: x fall in love before 20 - too long of a list
.: x become a sports star- Katie (if limbo-ing is a sport xD)
.: x not go to college- Moe, Jonathan
.: x get married twice- long list
.: x have 4 kids- Moe
.: x be your best friend throughout your whole life- Kate
.: x be at home doing nothing but eating and watching tv- Moe, Jonathan
: x be a serious business person- Kelly, Mandi, Dom, Morgan
: x become someone with a job that helps people- Kelly, Mandi, Morgan,
.: x end up on road rules or real world- Lauren, Mole
.: x copy and paste this survey on their xanga- Uh............I dunno

KIRA IS LOVED!!

I'm at Moe's house at the moment...... Yesterday all we did was sat was sat around and watched the Sci-Fi Channel Memorial Weekend Movie Marathan, some very interesting movies we watched. Then I brushed out "The Rat's Nest", yes I managed to get out all the knots in Moe's hair. Now Moe is trying to decide what movie to watch the "Oldest Fashion Way Possible." (Don't ask) Nuttin else too special....

Over n out

Noir